20 January 2006

Sic transit gloria mundi (Thus passes the glory of the world)

Tololy recently posted about the pressure on girls fresh out of university to get married. Well, I think it's an absolute shame that society has such dictates. Why is a person not a person unless they're married? Stupid! I wasn't actually intending to post about this, until my mum came back from having her hair done, and broke my back with the proverbial straw: Her hairdresser asked her "Isn't it about time your son got married?"

About time? Are you taking the piss? I'm 22 years old, never been in a serious relationship, been out of higher education a shorter time than it takes for a foetus to gestate, and working five jobs on top of that. I'm just now gaining some independance, making my own money, and saving up enough to do the things I've always wanted to do. I'm meeting all sorts of interesting people, developing as a person, learning new things every day, and being damn successful in what I do, and I'm somehow supposed to put all this on hold and worry about getting into a lifetime commitment? Sod off!

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not against marriage at all. On the contrary. If anything, I think marriage is taken too lightly. If and when I get married, it'll be to someone I love at the very least, and will come of my own volition, certainly not because someone tells me it's about time I did it! Look at my cousins: In their thirties, and one of them JUST got engaged. That's more like it! You've done well, boys! But you should see the crap the other one gets at family gatherings! "Eimta ra7 nifra7 feek?" (When shall we rejoice [at your matrimony]?)

Now, I fail to see why he, or I for that matter, should give one toss about the rejoicing of our family members. They can rejoice when we're bloody good and ready! DOn't they have kids of their own who are married? And on another note, I DON'T want to see pictures of your grandchildren. I know you love them, but they're right in front of me. I can see them. I don't need photographic evidence to prove they exist.

So far, the family's been pretty lenient with me. My aunts on both sides have not asked me (well, not more than once or twice in recorded memory) whether or not I'm in a relationship or intend to get married. My parents haven't asked me about whether or not I'm in a relationship, even though my mum has shown immense insight at times. Sometimes, they make inquiries, but not in an intrusive manner.

Why does Jordanian society have this negative view of people who believe that an individual's right to make personal choices belongs to said individual? If a relative of mine I hardly know from Adam thinks it's suddenly their duty to ask me about when I'm going to get married, am I not justified in telling them it'll be when I'm ready to? If I haven't brought that subject up, it's because I don't value their opinion, or I don't want to talk about my personal life with them. I also DO NOT want their unsolicited advice. Or their "3o2bal 3indak" (May you be next) at weddings. Just let my private life be that: Private!

Thus endeth today's rant.


sk8erboi said...

Welcome to the club ;-)

Tololy said...

Quite true. Guys and girls go under similar social pressure, but I still think girls are more stressed-out. Do not settle for less than your deserve to please onlookers, Fedaykin.

Fedaykin said...

Oh, girls definitely get the worse deal, but I think guys get enough crap in a different way; you're shafted if you're single here in Jordan...half the places won't let you in, you get tripe from people who think there's something wrong with you, you get harassed about getting a career so you can provide for a wife and kids...it's worse than acid!