06 January 2006


I stand upon the precipice, and stare into the chasm
The sweet promises of the brightest future beckon, yet I am afraid.
One more step, onto the invisible bridge,
But where there was nothing, now there is a path.
The path becomes clearer, and forward I move.
But the path is not straight, it weaves left and right.
It takes turns unexpected in both space and time.
A voice calls from behind me, a hand on my shoulder.
Haunt me, Past.
You call me back, on a path impossible to tread.
Your siren's call is seductive, reminding me of glories past;
Glories that can never be regained, and love that has been forever lost.
I forge forward, a few more frightening steps.
The abyss stares at me from all around, left and right, above and below.
It invites me, its perfume seductive. Drawing me off the path.
Haunt me, Present.
At once lovely and horrid, it blocks my course.
The weight of choices I have yet to make is on my shoulders.
It whispers in my ear, words that make me doubt.
"Where are you going? What will you do?"
My heart melts, and my knees buckle.
The weight is too great, and it grows heavier by the second.
I sink.
I weep.
The path is no longer solid.
It is a mire that draws me down.
I cannot climb out.
The past reaches its hand out again, carressing my face.
My skin burns at the touch, the pain of memories best left forgotten.
The light of the future, once so bright, is now dulled to oblivion.
Words fail.
They are attempts to make abstracts concrete.
They betray us, pretending to express what we truly mean.
But words are not actions, and actions not feelings,
And in that mess we have created, frightened lies the truth.
Truth of what we are, what we experience,
Trapped helpless under the weight of what we learn.
How can we be taught expression, when that is something we must teach ourselves?
One last breath, before I go under.
Haunt me, Future.
The promise of things that might come now mocks me.
"Are you the one destined for great things?" it asks
Not destined, I wish to answer, but I cannot.
Discord is all around, the stupidity that surrounds me.
The world disappears, and all comes to darkness.


Lina said...

That is so beautifully written.. and it leaves a knot in the stomach!!

Fedaykin said...

Wow..thanks. I really don't know what else to say...I don't even think it's that good!

I appreciate the feedback. stay tuned for further poems.